Last evening I took enough time to ponder — about my blogging, and other aspects of my current life situation:
- It upsets me to see I’m lagging behind my daily goals for my blog, (to write each day, follow the prompts…) for one.
- Another thing – my blog isn’t attracting enough readers or supporters as I want, even from friends and family to assure me I’m doing just fine – even after all the tweaking I’ve done, for the umpteenth time – and this frustrates me…a lot.
- And yes, a little angry because no one even dares to tell me how bad my writing is or my topics are…something like this.
- Lately, I’ve been feeling somehow vulnerable, helpless and weepy – feeling like I’m no longer my usual bubbly, capable self.
- Times when I feel more like a woman conceiving for the first time…
Well — it’s not just me alone. If you’re a mid-lifer like me, at one point, you may have undergone your own midlife crisis..we all do. Midlife is like this – as in any phase of life, you may stumble and fall; you may make a wrong decision or turn; you may feel bad about yourself, and so on.
It’s all part of self-growth…you only need to be able to see the gem of insight behind each mistake you make, then use it to your advantage.
But the term midlife crisis has a negative ring to it, so I’d rather call it midlife’s birthing pain. As in my case, like a woman conceiving, I am about to give birth to my new self, to actualize my new goals and visions in life, that may seem too big for me to handle, but it’s okay. It’s part of my life’s adventure.
Because my new dreams, my new goals are BIG DREAMS, BIG GOALS, so my midlife’s birthing pain is just as big – the anxiety of the unknown borne of an eagerness to see my dreams coming true.
Just like giving birth to a new purpose for my blog and making it grow, I’m hoping *Summer’s Third Wind will finally gain readers as I share my stories, insights and thoughts, hoping these can somehow help other mid-lifers out there.
*Note: Summer’s Third Wind was one of my blog’s former title — Now, it’s English All You Can:A Teacher’s Journal of Inspiration