When I stop – or lose — my momentum, I seem to also lose my sense of balance.
It is much like catching my breath after a few minutes of brisk walk or short run, then finding myself struggling to get up and go.
My mind is engulfed by a huge vacuum from which I cannot escape – leaving me powerless to take off from where I left.
A specific example, one which often challenges me – is writing.
After losing my momentum at a certain point, whatever ideas, fragments of thoughts and feelings, seem to have gathered up in a haze.
Thus that awful empty, white space stares back at me from my computer screen or my journal page, crying out to be filled. But I remain stuck, my creative juices drained.
So an inner battle ensues, for that certain mood to get myself back into the flow of things seems hard to catch again.
More difficult is when I need to finish a work article or two. I strongly believe that the accomplishment of work tasks should take precedence over any mood or emotions. I should be able to finish something, whether I am in a writing mood or not.
Somehow, I need that pressure to keep my momentum. And once I am there – it can be irritating to have to stop whatever I am focused on at the moment. Somehow, the pressure itself causes negativity.
“In the center of our speed, in the core of our forward movement, we are often confused and lonely. That is why we have turned so full-heartedly to the memoir form. We have an intuition it will save us. Writing is the act of reaching across the abyss of isolation to share and reflect. It’s not a diet to become skinny, but a relaxation into the fat of our lives. Often, without realizing it, we are on a quest, a search for meaning. What does our time on this earth add up to?”
— Natalie Goldberg, Old Friend From Far Away
“Writing is the act of reaching across the abyss of isolation to share and reflect ” – this is so true for me – especially when I am overwhelmed with negative thoughts about myself – as in chastising myself for not doing enough or not being good enough.
Not only about writing – but also in living my daily life. I find that without any structure, things can easily go awry and I can so easily lose momentum.
So — in a way – writing is the crutch I hold onto – for support and solace. Writing allows me to sort out the negatives, and help me bring back a measure of structure to my day.
More deeply though – writing is the space I need to pour out my innermost feelings and thoughts that are just meant for me alone – and my God. Yes, often I write down my prayers instead of mentally conversing — I feel more expressive talking to God through my written prayers, my sacred space where ultimately I discover myself more and more, as I connect more deeply to my Source, my Creator.
This post is a response to the writing prompt by Ms. Laura Davis. To learn more about her and see more prompts as well as writing workshops/retreats, you may go visit her site, The Writer’s Journey Roadmap.